Exclusive: Lack of sex education causes phimosis due to which marriages are broken, Top Sexologist Dr Shailendra Kumar Goel
Dr. Shailendra Kumar Goel spoke to The National Bulletin about one of the most relevant sexual issues in the society prevalent today, ie, Phimosis which happens when the foreskin of a male is so tight that it cannot be pulled back over the head of the penis.
Dr. Shailendra Kumar Goel is Director & Head, Urologist, Andrologist/Sexologist, Uro-Oncology and Renal Transplant Surgeon associated with Max Super Speciality Hospitals at Vaishali (Ghaziabad) and Noida.
He has more than 23 years of surgical experience in reputed Institutes and Hospitals i.e. Jaypee Hospital, Noida; SGPGIMS, Lucknow; Medanta- The Medicity, Gurgaon; UCMS & GTB Hospital, Delhi; Kailash Hospital, Noida and Greater Noida; Pushpanjali Crosslay Hospital, Vaishali, Ghaziabad; Metro Group of Hospitals, Noida and Preet Vihar, Delhi.
Dr Goel spoke to The National Bulletin about one of the most relevant sexual issues in the society prevalent today, ie, Phimosis which happens when the foreskin of a male is so tight that it cannot be pulled back over the head of the penis. Excerpts
Q: Kindly explain to us what phimosis is?
A: When the skin that covers the head of the penis cannot be stretched back or gives pain while trying to do so, this condition is known as phimosis. When a child is born, the foreskin that covers the penis remains stiff and tight. In India in a traditional family setup, grandparents used to be aware of this issue and usually grandmothers while giving an oil massage to the child used to try and soften it. But now since nuclear families are there in metros and cities, many parents are not aware of this issue. They don’t use this home remedy technique and the child grows up with this problem.
Q: How big is the problem today and what’s its impact?
A: This is quite a serious problem in modern times and its impact can be seen in the failure of marriages. See, what happens that a man with phimosis cannot perform sexual intercourse as it is a very painful experience for him. In my 23-year-long career, I have seen many well-educated and well-to-do families in which marriages don’t survive for this reason only. Young boys get an education and become engineers, charted accountants, managers in big companies but they don’t get educated on this aspect of the body. So when they get married and perform sexual intercourse, it becomes painful for them. After a couple of attempts to have sex with the partner, he fails to continue it due to pain and he is declared as an impotent person. Hence, the marriage ends up in a divorce.
Q: Do you think sex education is very important to be imparted at a growing age?
A: Yes, it should be as important as any other educational and awareness programme. Unfortunately, in our society, sex is considered taboo and parents don’t talk about it to children. Children too feel shy to ask questions related to changes in their body when they start growing up. Sex is an inseparable part of our lives and when the sexual problems are not addressed on time and at the relevant age, they grow bigger and become a reason for the stress in a marriage relationship. I believe parents should talk to their children about sex and changes in the body part so that youngsters don’t look for here and there for answers to their sexual problems.
Q: Do you agree that lack of sex education often drives youngsters to quacks who feed them with unscientific facts about sex?
A: Yes, certainly. This is another huge problem that emerges due to the lack of sex education. You might have noticed advertisements and pamphlets on walls and in public places. Especially when you travel by train, you might have noticed wall paintings on which tall claims of addressing all sorts of sexual problems are made. Besides in cities in many places, you might have seen such advertisements. These are quacks, who instead of addressing your problem, aggravate it further with unscientific and unproven information.
Q: Can you share some of the sexual issues that get complicated due to these quacks?
A: See, these quacks are not qualified to give counselling and treatment to youngsters, however, they advertise about themselves and attract people towards them. Youngsters with sexual issues go to them because they don’t want to discuss these issues with their parents and peers. One of the issues about which youngsters are often misguided is about masturbation. It is a very natural thing to happen. After a certain age, our sex organs start producing sperm which gets released either through masturbation or nightfall. Though these are natural and harmless things, quacks convince youngsters that it is a disease and sell all colourful pills only to make them fool. They make money by doing all these.
Q: So masturbation and nightfall are natural activities and doesn’t cause any harm to the body?
A: Yes, it doesn’t cause any problem. These quacks tell youngsters that masturbation causes weaknesses in the body and can make them infertile in future but that’s complete rubbish. They create fear among youngsters and make money. Their knowledge is dangerous and harmful but unfortunately, due to lack of awareness and the right information, people fall into these traps and get fleeced. I advise such youngsters that they should always consult a qualified practitioner and subject experts rather than these quacks.
Q: What Is Erectile Dysfunction?
A: Erectile dysfunction is the inability to have or maintain an ‘ erection of the penis, even when you have a good sex drive. Among men, the presence of erectile dysfunction is a source of embarrassment and can have a markedly negative impact on the tone of their mood, on their relationship with the partner and on the quality of life in general. According to some currents of thought, the term impotence is synonymous with erectile dysfunction; according to others, instead, it includes a wide and varied spectrum of sexual disorders, which concern the ability to have a penile erection, the phenomenon of ejaculation, the orgasmic phase and so on. Erectile dysfunction is a very common condition, especially among older men. The most reliable statistical surveys report that: About half of men aged 40 to 70 suffer from some degree of erectile dysfunction; About 10% of men aged 40 to 70 suffer from severe erectile dysfunction; Only 5-10% of men under 40 are victims of erectile dysfunction; In India, men suffering from erection problems are about 15-20% of the entire male population. The causes of erectile dysfunction are numerous; in fact, a more or less marked incapacity of penile erection may depend on certain medical conditions (physical causes), the use of certain medicines, specific psychic conditions (psychological causes) and other additional circumstances (other causes).
Q: How big is the problem of premature ejaculation?
A: Premature ejaculation is the most common sexual disorder in men and affects men of all ages. It is difficult to say what is premature ejaculation because intercourse is different in length. Some always get triggered early without them or their partners experiencing it as a problem. You may have premature ejaculation if you get ejaculation earlier than you and your partner want on repeated occasions. It is not possible to say exactly what is premature ejaculation. After all, intercourse is different in length and it also varies from person to person when early ejaculation is troublesome. Some signs of premature ejaculation may be: you get ejaculation before you start intercourse, you get ejaculation after a minute of intercourse or you feel that you have little or no control over your ejaculation. There are two types of premature ejaculation: lifelong (primary) ejaculation – which means you have always had early ejaculation and acquired (secondary) ejaculation – which means you have not always had early ejaculation. There are several reasons for premature ejaculation. Psychological causes – those belonging to emotional life – are the most common. Here are some reasons for premature ejaculation: inflammation or infection of the prostate or urethra, drug treatment, congenital behaviour, the trigger mechanism responds too quickly, nervousness, inability to get an erection (when it is difficult to maintain the erection throughout the intercourse, it can cause you to rush through the intercourse and get ejaculation early), worry and stress, performance anxiety problems in the relationship (if you have not had problems with premature ejaculation in previous relationships, or that it only happened sometime, your problems may be due to problems in the relationship you have now); damage to the nervous system (can occur in the event of an accident or surgery), early experiences (such as the urgency to get triggered to avoid detection or guilt about masturbation or sex.)
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